Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Undead Gundam Zombie Mechatech! (Bicycle Panda Rollerskate)

The following was generated using Zak Smith's Mad Libs Dungeon Generator. I take no responsibility for the stupidity of any of my answers.

The dungeon was originally a vast college constructed by goblins, but has been forgotten by most civilized races for eons. It was recently rediscovered due to the The Overlap.

Near the west entrance, a Vampire Queen suspects it may contain The Gibbering Crown and has dispatched her vampire lieutenants into the complex. They are unusual in that cloth obeys their whims. They communicate via flags and have devices facilitating this all over the complex.

Meanwhile, a group of gummy, hollow kobolds who entered through a secret entrance to the north suspects it may contain meat. Their leader is said to be strangely sublime and is also the basest of the group and has a pet grick that appears to obey his every whim. It roams the halls looking for goblins but is afraid of keys. It's also far more fiery than the typical member of its species.

In recent weeks, the two groups have begun to skirmish in the halls.

Unbeknownst to either side, a superevolved, hyperintelligent gelatinous cube lives deep within, inside a network of tunnels leading eventually to a gem that reverses gravity which it prizes above all things.

It has constructed traps around its lair 3 crossbow traps activated by looking up, but also 4 stranger traps, informed by its bizarre alien intelligence, which causes liquid methane to destroy intruders. The gelatinous cube can avoid the traps easily because it can dissolve flesh.

The other factions have constructed about 3 traps each as well, but they are cruder, since they've been recently and hastily constructed.

In addition, there are the many hazards that are the legacy of the dungeon's original inhabitants. No-one has yet discovered the secret passage above the pit trap on the 2nd level.

The kobolds secretly use bricks to spy on the gelatinous cube and, if commandeered, these can be used to move from some parts of the dungeon to other parts, but only if treated properly -- and there is always the danger of being shattered.

The subtle influence of the cursed probability-altering mold hidden within the stone pile of bones has caused nearly all of the inhabitants to become increasingly manic and to cause bizarre physical and mental deformities. Some have become obsessed with hammers for reasons unknown.

Perhaps the most bizarre object in the dungeon is the so-called "Brutal Chamber" which the vampires fear above all things. However, beyond it there is a druid who hails from The Western Woods of Carrow and may aid the PCs, though she envies the PC's Goblin Javelin and is so repulsed by the sight of spider webs.

The dungeon has no blood stains and its architecture resembles Baroque, however, the floors are made of a mixture of virgin's blood and dragon teeth.

In addition to all that, it is said by some that, hidden deep within the complex, where no mortal has yet gone there half-mechanical, half-necromatic undead mecha-giant.

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