This one's for Joesky

I've been made aware that Joesky's Rule is now in effect. Unfortunately, this means my last post was in direct violation, and I'm pretty sure that means I'll get socked in the gut with a fistful of nickles if I don't correct it.

Sorry, Joesky. Without further adieu:

RANDOM RUMORS TABLE: Random crap people are whispering around that town or village.

1: A witch hunter is in a nearby hamlet, and her methods are simple: All the citizens must take their turn sleeping on a oil-soaked pyre. If nothing happens, the citizen is not a witch. Thus far the pyre has burst into flames every night at the same hour.

2: Goblins are actually born from eggs, which are laid in the bellies of kidnapped children. This is believed because a local boy who was lost in the woods for a week returned shitting one obsidian orb each day.

3: One of the PCs is thought to be a famous pirate, dangerous but loaded with gold and worth a considerable bounty dead or alive. On a 1 or 2 a merchant will lower prices 25% out of fear. On a 3 or 4 they will raise them 25%. All taverns contain 1d4 drunks who think they can take the PC. (The actual pirate is of the opposite gender, a halfling who is short even for halfings, broke and hundreds of miles away).

4: There's a party of NPCs in town that have been claiming to be the PCs. Everyone likes them better, even if the truth is revealed.

5: "For a good time, pay a call on Leanna." (Leanna turns out to be a giant spider with an attractive woman dangling in front of its maw angler fish-like.)

6: Slips of parchment are being handed out, saying that if presented at the local weaponsmith your purchase is 50% off. They weren't made by the weaponsmith, who would be driven out of business if they were honored. Angry customers may riot.

7: The PCs are vampires. 50% of people encountered at night believe it. 25% of people encountered in daylight do. 5% of vampires do.

8: A local barkeep, Fish-Faced Floyd, is a mummy. (He is.)

9: A local shopkeep, Slow-Eyed Sue, is a lich. (she isn't.) [she is a night hag]

10: If you look at your reflection in the water left in wagon tracks after a rain, your blood and the rainwater will switch places, killing you instantly. This is a children's "urban legend" that (you guessed it!) came true for one young man.